Sekiranya kita cinta kepada manusia,
Tak semestinya manusia cinta kepada kita,
Tetapi sekiranya kita cinta kepada Allah,
Nescaya cinta Allah tiada penghujungnya.
Sekiranya kita cinta kepada manusia,
Kita akan cemburu kepada orang yang mencintai
Orang yang kita cintai,
Tetapi sekiranya kita cinta kepada Allah,
Kita akan turut mencintai orang yang
Melabuhkan cintanya kepada Allah jua.
Ya Allah,
Andai dia adalah jodoh yang ditetapkan oleh-Mu kepadaku,
Maka campakkanlah ke dalam hatiku,
Cinta kepadanya adalah kerana-Mu,
Dan campakkanlah ke dalam hatinya,
Cinta kepadaku adalah kerana-Mu.
Namun,
Andainya dia bukanlah jodoh yang
Ditetapkan oleh-Mu kepadaku,
Berilahku kekuatan agar pasrah dalam mengharungi ujian,
Yang Kau berikan kepadaku.
Sajak untuk bakal suami oleh Aminah Qutb, adik perempuan Syed Qutb yang mati di tali gantung akibat ketajaman pena.
Setelah membaca novel Tautan Hati dan Pemilk Cintaku Setelah Allah dan Rasul karya Fatimah Syarha Mohd Nordin, aku memandang CINTA dalam satu perkpektif dan dimensi yang sangat berbeza dari sebelumnya. Aku bersyukur bahawa aku ditakdirkan mempunyai hati yang sangat keras untuk menerima cinta dari seorang insan bernama lelaki. Memang aku merupakan seorang gadis yang fanatik membaca novel yang ada sedikit berbaur cinta, terutamanya karya Ramlee Awang Murshid dan Norhayati Berahim, namun melalui pembacaan novel-novel mereka, aku tidak hanyut dalam gelombang cinta yang diterapkan, tetapi pengajaran dan ilmu yang terselit dalam novel-novel tersebut sangat mengujakan hatiku yang sangat dahagakan ilmu ini.
“Ada apa dengan cinta?”
Melalui alam remaja yang penuh dengan ujian ini, tanpa disangka-sangka aku tersungkur seketika dalam kerinduan kepada seorang lelaki yang tidak halal bagiku. Entah bagaimana perasaan itu tumbuh dan membesar sedikit demi sedikit dalam hati ini. Melalui pemerhatianku, si dia nampaknya menunjukkan respons yang positif. Namun, aku seringkali melarikan diri daripadanya. Perasaan malu anugerah Allah ini membaluti seluruh jasadku. Tanpa sebarang senyuman dan tanpa sebarang teguran aku pamerkan setiap kali bertembung dengannya. Seolah-olah kami tidak pernah berkenalan walaupun kami ditakdirkan pernah menjadi satu kumpulan di kolej.
Aku menjadi semakin benci (kadangkala bertukar sayang) kepada perasaan yang tumbuh ini walaupun ia adalah fitrah kerana perasaan ini mengangguku dalam beribadah. Astaghfirullah. Lantas Al-Quran kuambil untuk istikharah. Setelah membaca Ummul Furqan dan doa istikharah Al-Quran, aku membaca selawat sebelas kali dan pada masa yang sama jua aku selitkan lipatan kertas yang kecil yang tertulis perkataan Basmallah dan namaku dalam celahan Al-Quran mengikut gerak hati.
Masya-Allah. Jawapannya positif. Perhubungan ini deredai Allah dan cita-citaku jua akan termakbul. Mengalir air mataku tanda terharu menerima petunjuk dari Allah ini. Aku juga kerap bertemunya di dalam mimpi dan semuanya mimpi yang baik dan indah belaka. Bunga-bunga cinta semakin mekar di hati.
Kadangkala perasaan gembira ini tidak dapat dikawal sehingga aku terlupa impian dan amanah yang perlu aku tunaikan kepada agamaku dan keluargaku. Astaghfirullah. Lantas air mata penyesalan membasahi wajah. Ya Allah, aku tersungkur. Ampunkanlah daku.
“Ya Allah, kalau Kau rahmati hubungan kami ini, Kau dekatilah kami dengan cara yang baik. Jika hubungan ini membawa kepada keburukan, jauhilah kami dengan cara yang baik jua.” Doa ini kuamalkan semasa tempoh seminggu istikharah.
Kemudian, setelah aku rasakan aku tidak dapat menanggung lagi perasaan ini, aku mulakan dengan doa yang baru.
“ Ya Allah, Kau matikanlah perasaanku ini kepadanya dan kau jauhilah aku dari kemaksiatan hati.”
Pemilik cintaku setelah Allah dan Rasul ialah ibuku, ibuku dan ibuku…
Mengemis Kasih
Album : Secercah Pewarna
Munsyid : The Zikr
http://liriknasyid. com
Tuhan dulu pernah aku menagih simpati
Kepada manusia yang alpa jua buta
Lallu terheretlah aku dilorong gelisah
Luka hati yang berdarah kini jadi parah
Semalam sudah sampai kepenghujungnya
Kisah seribu duka ku harap sudah berlalu
Tak ingin lagi kuulangi kembali
Gerak dosa menhiris hati
Tuhdan dosaku menggunung
Taki rahmat-Mu melangit luas
Harga selautan syukurku
Hanyalah setitis nikmat-Mu di bumi
Tuhan walau taubat sering kumungkir
Namun pengampunan- Mu tak pernah bertepi
Bila selangkah kurapat pada-Mu
Seribu langkah Kau rapat padaKu
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
FORGIVE & FORGET
Sometimes, people tend to underestimate our potential due to our age. As the saying goes, size doesn’t matter. Thus, it works similar with age too. Off course, we as the youngsters have to pay our respects to the elders especially our parents, aunts, uncles and teachers as well. However, elders indeed do mistakes too. It doesn’t mean that we, as youngsters always be the one who should be blamed on due to our lack of experiences compared to the elders.
One day, during class my lecturer hit my friend’s head unexpectedly. I sit beside her but when the accident was happened, I was trying to focus on my reading. I thought that the lecturer only hit her on the shoulder and I thought it was okay because the lecturer was actually wanted to make her regain consciousness from her ‘sleeping habit’ during classes. She seemed to back herself up but I thought that it was quite impolite because she talked like that to the senior lecturer whose her age was nearly half a decade.
After class, we had a tete-a-tete on the way back to female hostel.
“Ainna, do you think that I’m wrong?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“She hit my head. I feel so ashamed with all our classmates.”
“What, she hit your head!”
“Yeah. I’m not sleepy at all. I just feeling a little bit of tiredness.”
“Sorry, I thought that she only hit your shoulder. Me, myself will piss off if anyone hit my head. Head is the most sensitive part you know..bla bla..but what can we do? I hope you just can forgive her because she is older than our mum, though. No one is perfect. ”
Elders have to show good morale to the youngsters because the youngsters will absorb their behavior. They also have to be friendly but at the same time maintain their respectability.
I still remember a true story about a girl and her big-headed-woman-who-love-to-belittle-everyone neighbor. The woman used to say negative things on the girl’s mum. The girl’s hatred towards the woman grew as the time passes by. When the woman gets older, she eventually repents and seeks forgiveness from the girl’s mum. Her kind hearted mum does forgive her. Nevertheless, the girl who is now a young lady reluctant to forget what has the woman did to her family. It really needs such an elephantine effort to just erase the black memory that the woman had smashed in her life. One Friday night, the young lady watched a very heart-rending Korean movie entitled A Moment to Remember. One phrase from the movie that really struck to her rigid heart is ‘When you forgive someone, it’s mean that there is another empty space in your heart to love and be loved by someone who has made the door of your heart closed before.’ At the end of the story, the young lady goes to her neighbor’s home and forgives her. She really learns that at that moment, the most important things to do are living and loving.
Well, it is really though indeed to forgive someone. However, when you are successfully forgiving someone, you can actually feel what love is already about. Love is the most amazing gift by Allah to who is always prioritizes the love towards Him.
One day, during class my lecturer hit my friend’s head unexpectedly. I sit beside her but when the accident was happened, I was trying to focus on my reading. I thought that the lecturer only hit her on the shoulder and I thought it was okay because the lecturer was actually wanted to make her regain consciousness from her ‘sleeping habit’ during classes. She seemed to back herself up but I thought that it was quite impolite because she talked like that to the senior lecturer whose her age was nearly half a decade.
After class, we had a tete-a-tete on the way back to female hostel.
“Ainna, do you think that I’m wrong?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“She hit my head. I feel so ashamed with all our classmates.”
“What, she hit your head!”
“Yeah. I’m not sleepy at all. I just feeling a little bit of tiredness.”
“Sorry, I thought that she only hit your shoulder. Me, myself will piss off if anyone hit my head. Head is the most sensitive part you know..bla bla..but what can we do? I hope you just can forgive her because she is older than our mum, though. No one is perfect. ”
Elders have to show good morale to the youngsters because the youngsters will absorb their behavior. They also have to be friendly but at the same time maintain their respectability.
I still remember a true story about a girl and her big-headed-woman-who-love-to-belittle-everyone neighbor. The woman used to say negative things on the girl’s mum. The girl’s hatred towards the woman grew as the time passes by. When the woman gets older, she eventually repents and seeks forgiveness from the girl’s mum. Her kind hearted mum does forgive her. Nevertheless, the girl who is now a young lady reluctant to forget what has the woman did to her family. It really needs such an elephantine effort to just erase the black memory that the woman had smashed in her life. One Friday night, the young lady watched a very heart-rending Korean movie entitled A Moment to Remember. One phrase from the movie that really struck to her rigid heart is ‘When you forgive someone, it’s mean that there is another empty space in your heart to love and be loved by someone who has made the door of your heart closed before.’ At the end of the story, the young lady goes to her neighbor’s home and forgives her. She really learns that at that moment, the most important things to do are living and loving.
Well, it is really though indeed to forgive someone. However, when you are successfully forgiving someone, you can actually feel what love is already about. Love is the most amazing gift by Allah to who is always prioritizes the love towards Him.
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